ever been in jail? i have once; for like 17 days. when i came out it was a feeling of freedom; but what i feel now is beyond that too. just for some reason i feel free! but sad part is freedom too comes with responsibilities. i’ve like spend a few years in a state of mind; from which i am free now. i hope :)
just one wish; want to enjoy this for a while; and catch up on TV and books, etc. Why? its not the time; but it’s the state of mind in which you dive into them. self confidence is the next thing which needs to be patched. my version is buggy. when you are told for a long time that everything you do is wrong, and nothing will be right; you start to believe it. now thats not a very good thing ey? anyway wish me luck. i am no more scared or pissed; just happy and optimistic. i really do feel good. :P
14 years from now; my work is done. if i live long enough. i guess you have to go through bad to get to good. as one of my very good friend says; all ugly things are made by people who are trying to make something beautiful, i can’t remember the real words though. so its a stage in life and a process where you just experience hurt, guilt, frustrations, etc... but important thing i always believed in was not to give up. never to give up on what you believe and whom you love. don’t let them down or give up on them, and never to bring your own selfish reasons for an excuse to dump or hurt them. end of the day; they are what reflects you, and who will be your strength. somethings are momentary; like money, sex, fame and etc. if one decides to hang on to it and seek it; then i guess all hopes are gone. one day you will wake up; and realize what you have lost. worst part is then it’s too late. days pass by for each of us. we won’t be the same in 20 years.
one good experience i’ve learned is don’t hold on to people who don’t hold on to others. if someone who comes to you by dumping someone else, will do the same to you too. look for people who have a moral and have ethics. who are willing to sacrifice their own happiness over their own self. never depend on someone who is self centered; trying to hold on to people like this will result in a major chaos. if you don’t love you own family; you won’t love anything else. no matter what you say or do. now i am happy to know i have a family whom i can always depend on and have learned so much from. now the challenge is to make my children feel the same and say the same. damn!