Fear, Obligation, and Guilt

All these is part of the weapons used in the common game of Emotional blackmail to manipulate you. "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". Mostly this is done either directly or indirectly.

Who are you? A Victim or a Blackmailer?

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE VICTIM

• Constantly seeks approval
• Does their best to avoid anger and keep peace
• Takes the blame for anything that happens to others
• Has compassion and empathy
• Tends to feel pity or obligation
• Believes they need to give in because it is the “right thing to do”
• Has self-doubt with no sense of their worth, intelligence or abilities

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILER

• Has great fear of abandonment and deprivation or of being hurt
• Feels desperate
• Needs to be in control of things
• Experiences frequent frustration
• Has thought distortions regarding the reasonableness of their demands
• Has had someone emotionally blackmail them and sees that it works to get them what they want

WHAT IS NECESSARY TO STOP EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL

• The victim must begin to look at the situation in a new way.
• They must detach from their emotions.
• They must realize that they are being blackmailed and that it is not appropriate for the blackmailer to be treating them in that manner.
• They must make a commitment to themselves that they will take care of themselves and no longer allow this abusive treatment.
• They need to see that a demand is being made on them and that it makes them uncomfortable.
• They must determine why the demand feels uncomfortable.
• They must not give into the pressure for an immediate decision.
• They must set boundaries to be able to take time to consider the situation and to look at all of the alternatives to make the decision.
• Finally, they must consider their own needs first for a change, in this process

source http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html